who are you? cause i love him.

you dont notice that everytime i tell you i love you, its for a purpose. i never say it just to say it, im too carefull with my words.

love me, because i love you. my insides have died but evertime i see you something happens to me that i have no control over. my heart moves as fast as a leopard and my hands and knees shake like california in 1994. the first thing that enters my mind is the first thing that exits my mouth. no control, but completely afraid and completely voulnerable.

i say to me, get a hold of yourself. but everytime you smile or even look at me, i get that indescribible, terrible yet amazing feeling. but why dont you care? do you see what your doing to me? this is pain when you dont even care. not love. torture.

couldn't you have cared for me, told me something that i can hold onto? but even if you dont, i can never let go. in my nightmare is the day you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone whos not me. to say that you will love her forever and always. to say that you will cherish her always and forever. i want to be with you. dont you get it?

but now i find that you have changed.

and now who is it that i love?